"Luckiest Loser" lyrics

Man you're really one heck of a guy
Best friends since junior high
You showed me Playboy for the very first time, that was rad
We saw Bon Jovi, we sat in the front row
I pierced your ear right before the show
We stole your brother's beer and he didn't know oo-a-oh

Whoa
Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun
Did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some?
That girl is crazy she's a loco-motion
I know you know she used to be my girl
You better run for cover 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
And did I mention that you both suck dot com

And now you're stuck with her
Like Mellencamp is stuck with Cougar
I guess that make me the luckiest loser

I met her at a keger passed out on the yard
Getting in her pants wasn't really that hard
6 months later she crashed my car, that was rad
She's got a glow from her spray-on tan
Marilyn Manson is her favorite band
I really think she might worship Satan, not a fan

Whoa
Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun
Did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some?
That girl is crazy she's a loco-motion
I know you know she used to be my girl
You should run for cover 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
And did I mention that you both suck dot com

And now she's stuck with you
Like a fat guy with a bad tattoo
Like celebrity golf with Alice Cooper
Guess that makes me the luckiest loser

Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, you deserve each other
I'll leave the when you take her home to meet your mother
She was a super star, backseat of my car
Those days are over now the night goes on, yeah

Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun
Did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some?

That girl is crazy she's a loco-motion
I know you know she used to be my girl
You'd better run for cover 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
And did I mention that you both suck dot com

Now you're stuck with her like Mellencamp is stuck with Cougar
Like number 2 on a pooper scooper
I guess that makes me the luckiest loser
(That girl is crazy she's a loco-motion)
Luckiest loser
(I know you know she used to be my girl)
Luckiest loser
(You'd better run for cover 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb)
Luckiest loser
(And did I mention that you both suck...)