"Easier" lyrics

I know it's been a minute since we last spoke
Been every type of bitter this year
There's something sentimental 'bout the thought of it all
But your tears are all I hear
I should've loved you better
I wish I could have been there
I wish we never met so maybe then I wouldn't see you everywhere
But you're so independent; need no one but yourself
I don't know how you do it inhibition for my guilt too 'course
I made a mistake
Pushed you away, so I grieved your loss
Killed every single memory, killed every thought, killed everything

'Cause it might be easier that way
If I never had to see your face
If I could pretend we never met
Maybe then I'd feel okay
But how can I act like you're a stranger?
If you were the only one who knew me
I live in a city full of people, but I am alone

The comfort of your arms was the only thing I knew
Getting out of bed is easy without you
Silence in my car helps me focus when I drive
Used to be so hard when I had you by my side

Waking up at night, ripping out my hair
I'm used to having fights, used to hurting everybody that I care for. It's unfair
Everybody lives their own life
That I'm never there for, and I lie and I steal time from everyone who ever cried, when I cry, lights on
You can put it on my grave when I die
At the top of the plaque "Here lies in his tomb a fucking waste of a man"

I got to learn to let go, I got to learn to move on
Got a lot I don't know, I have to learn to let go
If I don't change who I am I'm 'a die 'fore I'm old
But I can't help but hide myself behind my world of lies
I made to cope with who I lost I killed you here

'Cause it might be easier that way
If I never had to see your face
If I could pretend we never met
Maybe then I'd feel okay
But how can I act like you're a stranger?
If you were the only one who knew me
I live in a city full of people, but I am alone

Alone