"Anniversary (Sad Gay Version)" lyrics

Give me space from the distance, a break in the silence
A face to the surface and open my eyes
Give me words with a purpose that hurt us and burn us
For brittling, kindling, tumbleweed lies

She pulled my eye and touched me twice
I froze when I felt the connecting of wires
So what I remembered, the accidental fires
I guess I must still be alive

Go ahead and pine for the pageantry of youth
Claim it and dream it, all the pretty girls do
I could learn not to care, lose some weight, change my hair
What a waste of the things I've been through

It doesn't happen in the dark or the silence, it's long
It's there or it isn't, it's right or it's wrong
I feel smug when it's powerful, when it's wordless, mechanical
Forceful when it's angry and sad when it's gone
Yeah, it's sad when it's gone

Someone new reminds you and that's how it ends
Unfolds and rewinds you, and the years melt away
Of course it was wrong, you must have known it all along
It wasn't lazy, complacently, words you can't say

And now you don't have to, it's finally right
It was all in the chemistry, now you don't fight
Through the night for connection, acceptance, deception
There's no recollection, only skin, touch, and sight

Thank God for reprieve, for the primitive peace
Discovering beautiful, easier ways
And closing the door on that joyless old bore
Anniversary mercifully fading away

It was just an old promise, a dogma at best
A square on the calendar, a bulletproof vest
Be your own magic feather and put it to rest
Give it back to the keeper of days

It's just an ordinary day now
It's just an ordinary day
It's an ordinary day