"I Own This Bar" lyrics

You say you got them boots in Paris
And you're cousins with George Jones
Now drinkin' is against your religion
But that wine is just an act of when in Rome
You say you're savin' yourself for marriage
And your daddy he's a movie star
Well, I'm Billy Graham
And honey, I own this bar

Talkin' lock, stock and barrel
A hardwood floor, the neon lights
Girl, if we ain't careful
We could go to hell for lyin'
You swear you've never been here
Ain't ever heard no steel guitar
Well I'm George Strait
And honey, I own this bar

They say tonight it's your birthday
You just turned twenty- two
You were supposed to be hangin' with Beyoncé
But she came down with the dag- gum flu
Said you were born and raised in the city
But you're a real cowgirl at heart
Well, I'm John Wayne
And honey, I own this bar

Talkin' lock, stock and barrel
A hardwood floor, the neon lights
Girl, if we ain't careful
We could go to hell for lyin'
You swear you've never been here
That Maserati out back is your car
Well, I'm Dale Earnhardt
And honey, I own this bar

We ain't ever gonna get together
'Cause you can't BS a BS'er
You know it's all in good fun
Ain't no damage done
We're just two honky- tonk birds of a feather

Now you say you're so mad
'Cause you can't pay your tab
Somebody stole your credit card
Drinks are on me, I'm Braxton Keith
Honey, I own this bar

You want another one?