"The Crib Song" lyrics

Alright
Let's go, boys!

Just poured myself a strong one
Hey boys, get out the cards
Shuffle up, and deal 'em out, I just cut the ace of hearts
Be careful what you lead with
Don't give away your hand
'Cause I'll rope you right into a run and peg eight, or nine, or ten
Looking at your face, looks like you don't like what you see
Oh-oh son, looky there, looks like you got nineteen

Fifteen to a pair for four, I gotta flush for eight
I pegged you back and you bet your ass, I'm hot out of the gate
I'm looking for that twenty-nine, just give that Kissel cut
Well, twenty-four will have to do, looks like you're getting skunked

No, I can't think of anything I love doing more than this
Than drinking whisky with the boys, and kickin' ass at crib

Hey Walshy, don't forget
You still owe me a hundred bucks
I can't help you missed a couple runs, and I just got the luck
Perhaps one day you're gonna learn you're playing 'gainst a shark
'Cause you know I'll break your spirit
And you know I'll break your heart
So pay me up my money
Unless you wanna double down
Let's pour another whisky, son, I'll take your ass to town

Well, fifteen, six and six is twelve and one more for the jack
You don't wanna see my crib, you're gonna have a heart attack
I'll take fourteen in the kitty, looks like I'm gonna win
Yeah, I'd put away your wallet son, unless you wanna lose again

No, I can't think of anything I love doing more than this
Than drinking whisky with the boys, and kickin' ass at crib
Alright

Uh-oh
Here comes Grandpa Bear
It's time to watch the heart, boys
Yeah, Powers, he's a player, but he ain't won in awhile
And Uncle Digger, he can't see, Deuce Neon's got him piled
Walshy's just like Reuben
He'll lead with a five
And Ebs keeps getting Romney's, he'll stay up all night
But Marty, he's a cheater, always taking extra points, and me
Well, I'm the king
'Cause all I get is loins

Well, fifteen, twelve, another twelve, well makes twenty-four
Are you sick of all this punishment
Or do you want some more?
Yeah, I just won a Gino
Looks like I cleaned ya out
No Walsh, don't tell Mikayla
You'll be sleeping on the couch

Now I can't think of anything I love doing more than this
Than drinking whisky with the boys, and kickin' ass at crib
Now I can't think of anything I love doing more than this
Than drinking whisky with the boys, and kickin' ass at crib

Alright
Alright
Yeah, of course I'll take another drink
I'm not a cactus