"If Heaven's A Country Club" lyrics

If heaven's a country club somewhere way up in the clouds
Where old men in polos complain that the music's too loud
Where weirdos and freaks and people with kinks ain't allowed
If I know Jesus I think even he would sneak out

If behind heaven's gate
Is the world's lamest rave
Where they're all dressed beige
Cause they kicked out the gays
And there's no margaritas or decent tequila
It's all southern belle and no senorita
If heaven's fried chicken without any spices
God sounds like a douche and I don't think I'd like em
I can't pay the dues and neither can you but oh well
If heaven's a country club
I guess I'll see you in hell

If you want heaven to hit like a party stop clutching your pearls
And throwing shit fits when a boy paints his nails like a girl
Stop picking and choosing the verses to use
When it matches the views
Of that dweeb on fox news
Make heaven a rager
Start loving your neighbor
No cover
No list and
No God damn disclaimer

Behind heaven's gate
Is the world's lamest rave
Where they're all dressed beige
Cause they kicked out the gays
And there's no margaritas or decent tequila
It's all southern belle and no senorita
If heaven's fried chicken without any spices
God sounds like a douche and I don't think I'd like em
I can't pay the dues and neither can you but oh well
If heaven's a country club
I guess I'll see you in hell
If heaven's a country club
I'll see you in hell

Behind heaven's gate
Is the world's lamest rave
Where they're all dressed beige
Cause they kicked out the gays
And there's no margaritas or decent tequila
It's all southern belle and no senorita
If heaven's fried chicken without any spices
God sounds like a douche and I don't think I'd like em
I can't pay the dues and neither can you but oh well
If heaven's a country club
I guess I'll see you in hell
If heaven's a country club
I'll see you in hell