"Equals" lyrics

Well, he was not a close friend, he was hardly a friend at all -
I was as surprised as you'd be when he asked if we could call
He said, "I've been scrolling through my contacts, but there's no one left to text
I just needed to talk to someone who doesn't hate me yet."

I'd engaged in some debating of his guilt with folks I knew
There was something in his voice that said the worst of it was true
"Well, they've really done it to me. I can't bear to hear my name
I used to know my real one. Now, it's covered up in shame."

Without a defense I stand
And ask if there's something left to save
'Cause what was the point of these hands
If they could give nothing but pain?

If I'm not what I'm supposed to be
If the front can't hold anymore
Could you retain any hope in me?
Or leave me to drown in the feedback

Cords 'round my feet
Jackdaw at my breast
The devil's familiar comes every night
He's listening to every breath -
And am I guilty again?
Is that all that I am?

I have laughed it off as crazy in the company of peers
But as you are my equal, I'll be honest with you here -
That it's way too raw to talk about with the distance that I'd like
I don't feel good about it now and I won't when I look back...

Without a defense I stand
And ask you to take me back again
'Cause what was the point of these hands
If they could give nothing but pain?

Oh, that hero you thought
Could carry the light from the distance
And now that you know that I'm not
Could you get by with the difference
By with the difference
By with the difference?