"Audience Rap, Pt. 1" lyrics
Good evening and welcome to Mr. Kelly's
What we'd like to do is a very casual show, and um
Maybe perhaps you can pretend that you're in my living room
Course the drinks wouldn't be so watered, I guarantee ya
I'll explain about the cane
The cane is because about three months ago I had an accident, I slipped and fell in my own kitchen
I don't know why it couldn't have been Howard Hughes kitchen
Or even Howard Johnson's kitchen
But anyway, it was my kitchen, and uh, I had one of those cartilage operations on my knee, real football injury
Just when I was getting down to fighting weight too, however
Uh the doctor says that I'll just have to use this for a few more weeks
And then I'll be able to put the roller-skating number back in the act
And possibly the military toe tap which is my favorite
Until that time, you're just gonna have to contend yourself with watching me scuff up the stage with my rubber tip
When I left The Mamas and the Papas
Which has now been about uh, four and a half years ago
Um, I had somewhat of a problem because
We had all used our first names in the act it was Mama Cass and Mama Michelle and Papa John and Papa Denny
And people called me Mama Cass all the time
And I mean they didn't even know
They thought my first name was mama, they'd call me Miss Cass you know
Or Miss Mama if they were from the south
Don't blame me, I don't know
Anyway, haha
But I do have a last name it's up there on the marquee
Refusing to be obliterated by the rain
And I would like you all to know it's Cass Elliot
You know, I'm like a normal person
So if you should see me on Michigan Avenue spending a lot of money and you wanna come up and talk to me
What we'd like to do is a very casual show, and um
Maybe perhaps you can pretend that you're in my living room
Course the drinks wouldn't be so watered, I guarantee ya
I'll explain about the cane
The cane is because about three months ago I had an accident, I slipped and fell in my own kitchen
I don't know why it couldn't have been Howard Hughes kitchen
Or even Howard Johnson's kitchen
But anyway, it was my kitchen, and uh, I had one of those cartilage operations on my knee, real football injury
Just when I was getting down to fighting weight too, however
Uh the doctor says that I'll just have to use this for a few more weeks
And then I'll be able to put the roller-skating number back in the act
And possibly the military toe tap which is my favorite
Until that time, you're just gonna have to contend yourself with watching me scuff up the stage with my rubber tip
When I left The Mamas and the Papas
Which has now been about uh, four and a half years ago
Um, I had somewhat of a problem because
We had all used our first names in the act it was Mama Cass and Mama Michelle and Papa John and Papa Denny
And people called me Mama Cass all the time
And I mean they didn't even know
They thought my first name was mama, they'd call me Miss Cass you know
Or Miss Mama if they were from the south
Don't blame me, I don't know
Anyway, haha
But I do have a last name it's up there on the marquee
Refusing to be obliterated by the rain
And I would like you all to know it's Cass Elliot
You know, I'm like a normal person
So if you should see me on Michigan Avenue spending a lot of money and you wanna come up and talk to me
