"Deathbed" lyrics

I apologize for what I said
But I still meant it
I know that I live in my head
U won't let me forget it
I promised that I tried
But walls don't break
And words don't mean enough
I swear I never meant
To lose my grip on something that I love

I'll be laying on my deathbed
And I'll tell u that I fucked it up
Yeah I'll be laying on my deathbed
'Cause I love u but it's not enough

I'm praying something's gonna give
Yeah I know I feel it
And the pendulum is gonna swing
And rotate the seasons
I promise that I'll try
To be a person u deserve at all
Cause maybe if I change
You'll let me in when I wanna come home

I'll be laying on my deathbed
And I'll tell u that I fucked it up
Yeah I'll be laying on my deathbed
'Cause I love u but it's not enough

I promised that I tried
But walls don't break
And words don't mean enough
I swear I never meant
To lose my grip on something that I love