"How To Shake Hands" lyrics

Are you cool?
Well I'm cool
Is everybody cool?
Well let's get hot

Grass roots
All across this great nation
And I am truly humbled
And gratefully accept the nomination

I'm gonna be President
Of the United States
First Tuesday in November
Mark it down and save the date

Live music in the White House
Strictly B.Y.O.B.
The public want to get down
It is our collective destiny

I'm gonna kiss all the babies
Maybe kiss their Mamas too
I don't need the secret service
I know how to work a room

I'm gonna be President
Of the United States
I was born to be the President
Of these United States

On the day I was born
All the nurses and doctors
"Take that boy out his crib
And put him in the Executive Office!"

First thing that I'm gonna do
Is disclose all those U.F.O.s
Put Jimi Hendrix on the 20 dollar bill
And Bill Hicks on a 5 note

Hot damn the democratic process
What a time to be alive
Oh I'm ready to give the people what they want
And what they want is straight talk and no jive

"We have exit polls coming in
Rhode Island and American Samoa
We have more results coming in
From Puerto Rico and both Dakotas
Breaking news happening right now
I believe we're ready to call it
Do you want us to call it? Yeah!
I believe we have a winner!"

Thank you very much
I couldn't have done it
I couldn't have done it without you!
Drinks on me!

Thank you very much
I couldn't have done it
I couldn't have done it without you!
Drinks on me!

First thing that I'm gonna do
Is go for a ride on a U.F.O.
Put Jimi Hendrix on the 20 dollar bill
And Bill Hicks on a 5 note

Hot damn the democratic process
What a time to be alive
Oh I'm ready to give the people what they want
And what they want is straight talk and no jive