"Weapon In My Hand" lyrics
You don't know what I know
You can't see the spreading stain of deception
I am cruel to myself
Things will never be the same
I will hold my silence like a weapon in my hand
If I used it, I would murder myself
You could never understand
How you doing? How is heaven passed the brightest star?
I think about you especially when life is hard
Just watched a video of you before I wrote this
And many days it's still rough, something that I've noticed
Now I gotta tell you something and you know I never lie
How your presence alone, yes, it impacted many lives
Everything is temporary, nothing is forever
Looking back on three different places we lived together
And since the Strachan house you have always made me laugh
I think about you everyday, everyday since you passed
And me and Ian talk about you like you never left
And his impression of you is still amazing and nothing less
And I remember when Lou called me, then I seen it on the internet
Fuck Facebook, never the place for that, upset
As I'm seeing "REST IN PIECES" that are followed by your name
Cause that shit was personal to me and all I felt was pain
Zane's doing well, of course everyone misses you
Your entire family, especially your sisters too
Til this day it's the hardest I've ever cried
As I struggle to talk about this while I'm saying I am fine
A lot of days I wish that I was dead with you
Cause I keep this shit inside instead of dealing with my issues
Yea I'm quiet but I've learned to be a man
But that silence is that motherfuckin weapon in my hand
I will hold my silence like a weapon in my hand
If I used it, I would murder myself
You could never understand
Another great friend is gone and that's the honest truth
Living right and helping others, one of the ways that I will honor you
I know it's hot, I feel the heat and hell is there
We used to joke how you were proud to be from Delaware
I heard something abruptly, it left me crushed
So, the last time I held you it was covered in disgust
I think about your last days alive and how I hated you
And how I should've said everything I wanted to say to you
Instead, I kept it bottled up and resentments were born
I never had the chance to make it right before I mourned
I'm not God but maybe things would have been different
I regret our falling out over minor petty conflictions
When I struggle, I think of you and go harder
You had the biggest smile showing me pictures of your daughter
You treated me good when we were at our bottoms
Together you helped me out, you said "I got you, not a problem"
Many days wish it was the other way around
I'm not blessed
I'm not fortunate
I'm just fuckin lucky!
I would give anything to see you one last time, it's true
And look you in the eyes and tell you how much that I love you
And your funeral, the scenery was tragic
Cause I remember I started crying when your parents closed the casket
Yea I'm quiet but I've learned to be a man
But that silence is that motherfuckin weapon in my hand
I will hold my silence like a weapon in my hand
If I used it, I would murder myself
You could never understand
In a house of cards... it's just too hard... not to touch it
So, it all falls down
It all falls down... falls down
Ring-a-ring... a rosie
A pocket full... of possies
A tissue... a tissue... we all fall
You can't see the spreading stain of deception
I am cruel to myself
Things will never be the same
I will hold my silence like a weapon in my hand
If I used it, I would murder myself
You could never understand
How you doing? How is heaven passed the brightest star?
I think about you especially when life is hard
Just watched a video of you before I wrote this
And many days it's still rough, something that I've noticed
Now I gotta tell you something and you know I never lie
How your presence alone, yes, it impacted many lives
Everything is temporary, nothing is forever
Looking back on three different places we lived together
And since the Strachan house you have always made me laugh
I think about you everyday, everyday since you passed
And me and Ian talk about you like you never left
And his impression of you is still amazing and nothing less
And I remember when Lou called me, then I seen it on the internet
Fuck Facebook, never the place for that, upset
As I'm seeing "REST IN PIECES" that are followed by your name
Cause that shit was personal to me and all I felt was pain
Zane's doing well, of course everyone misses you
Your entire family, especially your sisters too
Til this day it's the hardest I've ever cried
As I struggle to talk about this while I'm saying I am fine
A lot of days I wish that I was dead with you
Cause I keep this shit inside instead of dealing with my issues
Yea I'm quiet but I've learned to be a man
But that silence is that motherfuckin weapon in my hand
I will hold my silence like a weapon in my hand
If I used it, I would murder myself
You could never understand
Another great friend is gone and that's the honest truth
Living right and helping others, one of the ways that I will honor you
I know it's hot, I feel the heat and hell is there
We used to joke how you were proud to be from Delaware
I heard something abruptly, it left me crushed
So, the last time I held you it was covered in disgust
I think about your last days alive and how I hated you
And how I should've said everything I wanted to say to you
Instead, I kept it bottled up and resentments were born
I never had the chance to make it right before I mourned
I'm not God but maybe things would have been different
I regret our falling out over minor petty conflictions
When I struggle, I think of you and go harder
You had the biggest smile showing me pictures of your daughter
You treated me good when we were at our bottoms
Together you helped me out, you said "I got you, not a problem"
Many days wish it was the other way around
I'm not blessed
I'm not fortunate
I'm just fuckin lucky!
I would give anything to see you one last time, it's true
And look you in the eyes and tell you how much that I love you
And your funeral, the scenery was tragic
Cause I remember I started crying when your parents closed the casket
Yea I'm quiet but I've learned to be a man
But that silence is that motherfuckin weapon in my hand
I will hold my silence like a weapon in my hand
If I used it, I would murder myself
You could never understand
In a house of cards... it's just too hard... not to touch it
So, it all falls down
It all falls down... falls down
Ring-a-ring... a rosie
A pocket full... of possies
A tissue... a tissue... we all fall
