"AFRAID TO DIE" lyrics

You know too much about the girl
I buried at twenty-one
Did no one tell you she's now gone?
She's tired of bleeding out
And staining anyone around
To drown the sound, it wore her down

She pushed away all her friends
Isolated herself again and called it freedom to pretend
To her parents she was doing fine
While she sedated herself in the night
With screens and smoke and cheap wine

So I familiarise how it feels to die
I've tried to drown out the sound for so long
Like it's normalised
Just to smile and lie
It's like I left the extractor fan on
Hoping one day I might
Try and fight back the light
But I'll do anything just to feel alive
Alive, alive, alive
I wanna be afraid to die
To die, to die, to die

Dreaming of waking in a hospital bed
To affirm that anybody would care
I think so casually about my death
Grieving a youth that was recklessly spent
Wasted potential lying on the cement
The sirens loud, it wears me down

So I familiarise how it feels to die
I've tried to drown out the sound for so long
Like it's normalised
Just to smile and lie
It's like I left the extractor fan on
Hoping one day I might
Try and fight back the light
But I'll do anything just to feel alive
Alive, alive, alive
I wanna be afraid to die
To die, to die, to die

I used love as lessons, mourned for when I was wise
I grew from what had killed my innocence to a rational mind
Walked past my wasted potential
Didn't bat an eye
And in a moment I realised
I've changed my mind
I'm afraid to die
I'm afraid to die
I've changed my mind
I'm afraid to die
(To die, to die, to die)

So I familiarise how it feels to die
I've tried to drown out the sound for so long
Like it's normalised
Just to smile and lie
It's like I left the extractor fan on
Hoping one day I might
Try and fight back the light
But I'll do anything just to feel alive
Alive, alive, alive
I wanna be afraid to die
To die, to die, to die

I think I've changed my mind
I'm afraid to die