"1-800-Get-Hard (Commercial)" lyrics

I had an erection over four hours and I wasn't even on no Viagra
I was fucking the rap game, I was drunk on the champagne
I was humping lady luck like I was up in a crab game
Wasn't rushing a damn thing
Giving her the peter like Pan from Never Never
I'm sorry miss Jackson but I'm fucking forever ever
She asked if I fuck in the flood, whatever's clever
I introduce you bitches to no one like Trevor never
I was ready when the moment was right and I wasn't even Cialis
I was smoking cobb salad giving her weed dick
Stoner with a boner
I woke up in Arizona with Winona my cojones on her shoulders like
On and on and on
Blow the dice and roll em
Show your wife the scrotum, give her the pole like a totem
I just bone 'em and disown 'em, Crooked you so crazy
Papa wasn't home baby, Too $hort raised me
Toxic toxicology, my apology I fucked you in socks and wallabies
I should probably chill
It's not my policy, in twat I gotta be, you thots should follow me
Dial 1-800-Get-Hard
Over twenty million men have done it, it's all right
Dial 1-800-Get-Hard
And you can give your bitch the dick all night

Call 1-800-Get-Hard
That's 1-800-Get-Hard
Results vary, side effects may include upset stomach, dry mouth, dizziness
Drowsiness, migraines and death for you soft niggas
All my real niggas put on some drill music and drill that pussy (brr)
Get hard