"Detritus (The One They Kept)" lyrics

I am in the bathroom
Cowering, quivering, shaking
Within my stomach begins an eruption
I am surviving

The bluish liquid spills forth from my mouth the toxic cleanser
Tastes so fine perhaps I'll have to make another
Windshield, washer, cocktail
Retracing the events which lead me here

To this psych ward I'm not convinced
But everyone is so confident
That I'm right where I belong
That bitch, that cunt, that whore
Did she think I'm idiot (yes, she did)
That I wouldn't find out
A replacement, a clone of perfection

Had snuck in and took shape
A snake, a fiend once friendly
How could that be faked?
My own flesh and blood repelled me
Altered and strangled
Cast me out

That's when I picked up the knife

I shushed her quiet then stabbed her quickly 19 times
I kept my five-year-old son
My precious for last
The blade was slippery his sister's blood was everywhere
I made quite the mess you see

That's when it hit me
The realization of what I've done
Searching frantically I couldn't locate the apparatus

To plant it straight into my heart, I began to panic
Then shaking, sobbing, I discovered my liquid hold

Rest eternal alongside my own
The father, daughter and the son
Never apart eternity all together
With none to oppose

I wish I were fucking dead
I should be fucking dead

I'm the monster
I'm the beast
I'm the one who killed his own
But yet somehow I am still free