"Never There" lyrics

I thought of reaching out, we could take this slow
Hesitation turned to habit, never made the call
No branch to break my fall
I'd have so much to tell you, but I

Drink till I can't blink
And I fill my brain with holes
My voice is worse for wear
Because I lost my self control
I've lost my hope

Now I don't want to say I'm scared
Cause I don't want you to think
That this life I slave away for
Is what brings an end to me

But now I'm walking through my life with a clenched up fist
Holding back the tears and feelings that I never spent
I try to find a purpose or a path to set
But I've only found the void and so I

Drink till I can't blink
And I fill my brain with holes
Because the place that I feel safest
It was never there
Never there at all