"Comfortable Being Alone" lyrics

I'm getting too comfortable being alone
Happiness calls every morning, I hear it and try to get up
But I can't seem to get to the phone
It leaves me a message, I wanna call back, but connection is gone
Gone, gone, gone

I sit in my room and I laugh
Then I cry on my own
Then put my all my life right inside of a pen and transform all the pain into songs
My life is in cursive, I know that they see it but read it all wrong
Wrong, wrong, wrong

Yeah, I don't let people inside
Life is a journey we drive
Many will hop in the car
But few will stay for the ride
I stick to myself and don't ever get caught up with who's to my left and my right
And if I see a red, I don't ever slow down, I speed up and go straight through the light
I can spend money and get it back, but can't with my time
And that's how I know how I spend, it decides how the stars in my life will align
I wanna move forward but people around me keep pushing rewind
Pushing rewind, pushing rewind
Pushing rewind, pushing rewind, pushing re—

This a message to people who know me
I'm shooting my shot at my dreams, I don't care if I miss, I'm still screaming out Kobe
The voice in my head is a monster, it's screaming and kicking and trying to control me
He takes on a mind of his own in the night, and then tells me there's tricks he could show me
I'm scared of the dark, but must go to sleep
These negative thoughts are stuck on repeat
I tell 'em get lost
But they've been subconsciously speaking since March of 2016
Those were the times when my life wasn't stressful until I was visited inside a dream
He told me rap but he didn't prepare me for all of the change that the music would bring
I think I'm stuck in repetitive cycles of pain
I make a mistake and move on, then society makes me relive them again
I'm trapped in behavior resulting from trauma resulting from how we were raised
And I'm not a slave, but there's no connection to Google map out of this maze
The kid in me needs to stop kidding
There's too many fruit in this life, and the ones that tempt are all forbidden
I've taken a shot every time, I got chased by a bottle I shouldn't have finished
I got white on my face 'cause I've ghosted emotions, I know should face and revisit

Yeah, I don't let people inside
Life is a journey we drive
Many will hop in the car
But few will stay for the ride
I stick to myself and don't ever get caught up with who's to my left and my right
And if I see a red, I don't ever slow down, I speed up and go straight through the light
I can spend money and get it back, but can't with my time
And that's how I know how I spend, it decides how the stars in my life will align
I wanna move forward but people around me keep pushing rewind
Pushing rewind, pushing rewind
Pushing rewind, pushing re—

I had a kid tell me he wanted to die
And that my music was what kept him alive
He said he tried to do it multiple times
And that I responded at the moment he was holding a knife
I said thank you and he responded back wondering why
I said, "You think I saved yours, but you really saved mine
I feel that pressure from your knife when I'm writing these lines"
And that purpose is what keeps me alive