"Psalm 136" lyrics

I was young when I was told that I loved god
But he murdered my mother, took her away in a black box
Now I gotta learn to sleep with the pain like a gun shot
Still he looks from above, says, "Why don't you wanna talk?"

All I think about is how I could've been there
Too late now gotta act like I don't care

I can't unlearn the guilt that I was given
It took a million years to be okay with living
What was the meaning in that God, for me to never be enough?
He says figure it out, shove it down, make your mind up

I am alone and coming undone
Is that how wanna show me love?
Forever alone, forever be numb
Is that what you want?

I am alone and coming undone
Is that how wanna show me love?
Forever alone, forever be numb
Is that what you want?

I was alone with her when she was dying
Must've been four in the morning and God you were quiet
She said you loved her but you weren't there when you were needed
You were nowhere to be found when her heart stopped beating

I am alone and coming undone
Is that how wanna show you love?
Forever alone, forever be numb
Is that what you want?

Can you hear me?
Can you hear me now?
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me now?
Go on, go on without
Go on, go on without me, hey
Go on, go on without
Go on, go on without me, hey
Go on, go on without
Can you hear me?
Go on, go on without
Can you hear me now?
Go on, go on without
Can you hear me?
Go on go on without me, yeah
Can you hear me now?
Go on, go on without
Can you hear me?
Go on, go on without me, yeah
Can you hear me now?
Go on, go on without
Go on go on without me, yeah