"Opening Credits" lyrics

Yo, I'm telling you man, we can do this man
It'll be easy! Come on man, it ain't a prison
It's a college dorm - an all-girls college dorm
With two chicks in it who wanna give us some ass!
(What? Okay what bitch you wanna give me some...)

Yeah, that's my man Jacob, we all call him Pop
For the longest we've been calling him Pop
Shit, I've never called P anything else but that
I heard he got the name from his addiction to popping bubble wrap
Shoulda been 'cause he popped a lot of shit

(Man, you know what my moms would do if I let you
Drag me into this shit and we get caught doing it?)

That's my nigga D - short for Deen
Known each other since Grade 4
And I've been cheating off his homework since Grade 5
Yes sir, best friends ever since then
I guess I'm the Yang to the nigga Yin
'Cause I always take chances while he's always playing it safe
Yeah, we're different
But the differences seem to compliment everything we do

Yo, Deen Whitter y'all, majored in investment
The first of a litter like a Georgetown mascot
And you Toto stuck in a basket
And momma made a man of being stuck with a bastard

Ha! Good Lord, I was alone in the womb
And so I came out too soon as a preemie
Just so you could see me
To be me is to be in the life of the jam
'Pop' Life y'all, that's who I am

Yes sir, crown study it's that old boy grad (yea)
Got up out the hood, I want that dough boy bag
Me and P sign emerge and raise that index boss
Stay heavy like a brand new Chevy truck

What the fuck? I'm not a dreadlock Rasta
Just an asshole who crashed his brother's Mazda (while weeded!)
I proceeded to unjam the door
Limped to the drive-thru, ordered at number four

Drive through hop in parking lot practice
Thou spit the verses if he begat this

Lack this? Most do, so toast to two
Who have 'nough actions to back this

From the inner city blues to that cactus green
We're gonna stir a bit of milk until we make it cream

Full steam ahead we ahead of the curb

It's Deen Witter (Pop Life) {who want the first serve?}

Yeah, that shit is crazy! Whoo!
Yo-yo the cuts can go right here! (Yeah yeah, that'll be hot)
This fucking thing has Jam-Master Jay type cuts and shit (True true)
And yo, we should get like about three girls to sing on this shit!

Why you always gotta get chicks like on it?

Yeah man, all the niggas do that
Yo... is that your moms, man?

Open the do'!

Yea, moms is knocking
Shit!
Open this damn door, Deen! Who lock this door?!
That was you
Nah, that was you!
Deen Lamont Witter!
Yea, ma?
What you doing down there? You drinking gin and juice?
I'm 'bout to smoke this weed!
Nigga, put the weed away! She might come down here
Yeah nigga, don't be so fucking scared!
Whatever
You better not be down there, smoking narcotic
She drunk
Taking them Ecstasys and Jalils
Yo, yo moms say you do X?
Hell naw nigga, you crazy
So what the fuck is Jalil?!
S'all's good, she just like Whodini
Whodini? Uh, it's just Ecstasy, Miss Witter
Who the fuck is that?! Maurice?!
Naw, it's Jacob, Miss Witter
Jacob?!
Yeah!
Aw, Hail Mary, come with me!
Oh, God
What do we have here now?
Oh, she's drunk
Y'all in there rapping, you still at it, huh?
She 'bout to talk college
Two fools with a college education, what they say?
It was all a dream, wasn't it?!
I guess y'all two down there still sleep
I ain't squeeze yo' little ass out of me
So you go get shot over some East Coast/West Coast bull!
It's actually, beef, Miss Witter
Yo
Shut the fuck up, Maurice!
It's Jacob, Miss Witter
Yo!
Not John, not Johnny, not Joe, Jacob
What?! Oh I know your name, boy!
Now hold on, lemme tell you something!
I mean, you barely know me since the third grade
Aw, you gotta stop
What you need to do is go wrap ya ass around a job child
And don't let go! Ya heard me? Now open this door, Deen!
Open this door, Deen!