"What I Was" lyrics

Rolling dice, for half of my life
Got me so discouraged
Oh I was, young and in fear
So why do I hold on?

I think I'm the stigma
When I look in the mirror
But surely it's different
My attempts are sincere now

I'm not what I was
My cards all laid out on the floor
I'm not what I was
I guess I'm somewhat insecure
It's just the ghost of my past
Stuck on my back
Oh, no

Midnight, my chest feeling tight
As I sit and wonder
If I could, change all the ways
I mistreated myself

You said "am I trying?"
I said "so much harder"
Thought I made it obvious
Now I'm feeling smaller

I think I'm the stigma
When I look in the mirror
But surely it's different
My attempts are sincere now

I'm not what I was
My cards all laid out on the floor
I'm not what I was
I guess I'm somewhat insecure
I'm not what I was
My cards all laid out on the floor
I'm not what I was
I guess I'm somewhat insecure
It's just the ghost of my past
Stuck on my back
Oh, no