"Steve Berman (Skit)" lyrics

[Door creaks open]
[Background music "What's The Difference" by Dr. Dre]

[Eminem:] Eyyy!
[Steve:] Hey Em, what's up?
[Eminem:]
Steve Berman. What's goin' on, man, how you doin'?
Good to see you again. What's up?
[Steve:] Em, could you come in here and have a seat, please?
[Eminem:] Um, yeah, what's...
[Steve:] Vanessa? Shut the door
[Vanessa:] Okay [door creaks shut:]
[Eminem:] So what's up? How's orders looking for the first week?
[Steve:] It would be better if you gave me nothing at all
[Eminem:] Wh...
[Steve:] This album is less than nothing. I can't sell this fucking record
[Eminem:] Wha...
[Steve:] Do you know what's happening to me out there?
[Eminem:] Wh-wha-what's the problem?
[Steve:] Violet Brown told me to go fuck myself!
[Eminem:] Who's Violet...?
[Steve:]
Tower Records told me to shove this record up my ass!
Do you know what it feels like
To be told to have a record shoved up your ass?
[Eminem:] But, I...
[Steve:]
I'm gonna lose my fuckin' job over this
You know why Dre's record was so successful?
He's rappin' about big-screen TVs, blunts, 40s and bitches.
You're rappin' about homosexuals and Vicodin
[Eminem:] I mean-
[Steve:] I can't sell this shit!
[Eminem:] What...
[Steve:] Either change the record or it's not coming out!
[Eminem:] What, I...
[Steve:] Now get the fuck out of my office!
[Eminem:] What am I supposed...
[Steve:] Now!
[Eminem:] Alright man...