"Keeping Secrets" lyrics

Is there a way out
A way out from the let down I'm living in?
Some refuge from the cloud I'm under

Living in lies, what I am is never good enough
Every time I cry, it's just the surface
There's no hope if I give them nothing

Suffocating, so unnerving, I can't get this off my chest
But I'm coping with the feeling of your disappointment

And now I'm dead in the water
I'm afraid it's too late to change
It's like I've held up a gun to everyone that I love
Now this pain won't go away
You're the pin, I'm the hand grenade

How can words of hope hold weight
When I can't believe when I tell them to myself?
I can't feel heart through the violence
A violence that's self inflicted

Living in lies, what I am is never good enough
Every time I cry, it's just the surface
There's no hope if I give them nothing

Suffocating, so unnerving, I can't get this off my chest
But I'm coping with the feeling of your disappointment

And now I'm dead in the water
I'm afraid it's too late to change
It's like I've held up a gun to everyone that I love
Now this pain won't go away
You're the pin, I'm the hand grenade

Now the cold hard truth
I'm miserable and panicked now
What can I do?
Distress in bloom
I thought that I could numb the pain
But I'm just losing myself again

Light it up

Can I feel love if I'm keeping secrets?
Can I feel peace if my heart's made of stone?

And now I'm dead in the water
I'm afraid it's too late to change
It's like I've held up a gun to everyone that I love
Now this pain won't go away
You're the pin, I'm the hand grenade
Now this pain won't go away
You're the pin, I'm the hand grenade

Can I feel love if I'm keeping secrets again?