"Proud Of Me" lyrics

I know you proud of me, look at all the shit I prevailed
The youngest of your seeds, making sure the family eat well
I give 'em what they need, I vow we always be well
I told brodie change his ways, I'm praying he don't see jail
To live another day, I'm praying I won't see Hell
Ain't no telling what I'd do for my family, just know I mean well
No, you ain't next to me, no, you ain't next to me
But I'm hoping you can see, I'm praying you can see

A million-dollar curses turn to million-dollar dreams
A million dollars on me, but girl, it ain't what it seems
I'm having nightmares
I'm having nightmares of my brother clutching on me
Can't see the snakes up in the grass, so will you show me?
"You can't trust these niggas. Ain't your friends," what you told me
Young man, just stay up out the streets, it could get lonely
"You can do whatever you wanna dream of," what you told me
I ain't understand your words back then, but that's the old me

Now look at me now
I'm walking on the stage, they waiting for me like twenty-three thou'
Too many voices in my head, just know I'm hearing you loud
I'm walking 'round, smile on my face, just know I'm hurting inside
Oh yeah, I'm hurting inside

So I buy diamonds on diamonds on diamonds galore
Chain after chain after chain, what's the worth?
But it seemed to be the only thing that made me happy
I lost my soul and I lost my daddy
I know, I know

I know you proud of me, look at all the shit I prevailed
The youngest of your seeds, making sure the family eat well
I give 'em what they need, I vow we always be well
I told brodie change his ways, I'm praying he don't see jail
To live another day, I'm praying I won't see Hell
Ain't no telling what I'd do for my family, just know I mean well
No, you ain't next to me, no, you ain't next to me
But I'm hoping you can see, I'm praying you can see

Hundred-dollar nightmares turn to million-dollar dreams
Riding past the block where my dad got left on the scene (Brrrt)
Look at your little boy now, we done turned to kings
Shit turned me a grown man 'fore I was seventeen
Had to go and play my own hand, I did this for Nasheema and the whole fam
I got everything, but I just really wanna hold hands
With my old man on wedding day while we slow dance
But ain't no love, shot him in his heart, ain't have no chance

So I can't sleep, insomniac, bullet holes out the Pontiac
Swear to God, I'd trade in all these riches to get Robbie back
Swear to God, I'd trade in all these foreigns to get Terry back
I'm hanging out with my daddy, lost life and I'm aware of that

You had told me how to fight
And when you got shot, I thought about that shit every night
Ain't got a Glock, I was hot, but I ain't stop
I just bought your mama a spot and winning out
She was living PHA, now can't nobody kick us out
Scared to show up to your grave 'cause I might try to dig it out

Like you know I did this shit for you
Never heard you say it back, still be like "I miss you too"
And when I catch the nigga that did this to you, he getting sent to you
Skipping school, Daddy dead, fuck the principal
She think I'm missing screws, when really, I'm just missing you
My homie dad gon' pick us up, I want you to give me two
I was kinda mad I ain't had one, it used to hit me too

Nipsey blue Cullinan, I'm in a Ghost, I think of you
Think of bro, I think of Snupe, I think 'bout B, it make me, ooh
Money rule the world, but you can't pay God with it
I'd spend it all just to get back my nigga

I know you proud of me, look at all the shit I prevailed
The youngest of your seeds, making sure the family eat well
I give 'em what they need, I vow we always be well
I told brodie change his ways, I'm praying he don't see jail
To live another day, I'm praying I won't see Hell
Ain't no telling what I'd do for my family, just know I mean well
No, you ain't next to me, no, you ain't next to me
But I'm hoping you can see, I'm praying you can see