"I Won't Say That I'm Okay" lyrics

I won't hold my tongue
I'm not okay without you here
I guess what's done is done
I feel so exposed without you near
And I won't say that I'm okay
'Cause you taught me not to lie
So know that I'll miss you every day

You always taught me to be good
And always do my best to be selfless
But I know that God is holding you
And I am so damn jealous
'Cause I miss your arms around me
And the way you make me laugh
Now I'm stuck inside this prison
That says you're never coming back

So I'm sitting in my room
As I try to write this song
I'm so sorry that it's not good enough
It's just that everything seems wrong
And I keep bursting into tears
Because the pain won't go away
Because the father took my best friend
And said she cannot come out to play
Anymore

I won't hold my tongue
I'm not okay without you here
I won't hold my tongue
I'm not okay without you here
I won't hold my tongue
I'm not okay without you here
I guess what's done is done
But I just feel so exposed without you near
And I won't say that I'm okay

Cause you taught me not to lie
So know I'll miss you everyday

You always taught me to be good
And always do my best to be selfless
But I know that God is holding you
And I am so damn jealous
'Cause I miss your arms around me
And the way you make me laugh
Now I'm stuck inside this prison
That says you're never coming back
So I'm sitting in my room
As I try to write this song
I'm so sorry that it's not good enough
It's just that everything seems wrong
But I will try my best to be good
So I can pay my way
Straight through the pearly gates
Into your arms so we can play
Once more

Grandma
Uh, I love God with all my heart
And the only reason that isn't stated in my life is because of you
And I don't really understand the God that you introduced me to
Would take you away so fast
When you were the only person to ever understand a thing I ever said
And I really don't know how to deal with this anymore
And, I'm just really not okay with this and I miss you
I understand that you're in heaven
But, I- I want to be selfish. I don't want you to be in heaven.
I want you to be back down here, I don't want you to be there
I want you to be here
What am I supposed to do now?
That's all I'm asking