"The Allergy Song" lyrics

I used to be allergic
To anyone with hair
All my girlfriends had to shave
Otherwise I wouldn't care
Now I am pleased to report
I've really only changed a bit
Now I'm allergic to clothes
So all they gotta do is strip

I've read a lot of Shakespeare
I've seen his movies to
Not bad for an amateur
Is my professional view
And as you can gather from that
I didn't do too well at school
The only thing I ever learnt
Was how to be allergic to rules

I feel I ought to tell you
That my doctor isn't well
When he saw me for a check up
He began to check himself
Felt an itch in several places
And as he began to scratch
Came out in a rash

Now out in Scandinavia
Girls really do have fun
Even those without blonde hair
Are not to be outdone
While on a visit last year
I must have dated two or three
But everytime I got them home
I found they became allergic to me

I feel I ought to tell you
That my doctor isn't well
When I went in for a check up
He began checking himself
Found an itch in several places
And as he began to scratch
I just had to dash

Now you might pose the question
Like what excuse is that
How can you be allergic to
An allergy you've had
Well let me tell you this straight
When at the ripe old age of ten
My parents they were so surprised
Should have seen the look that's in their eyes
When I became allergic to them

And the moral of this tale
If you end up in a jail
All you need to unwind
Is a little time