"Welcome To Breakfast Television" lyrics

Good morning!

Welcome to Breakfast Television
The channel that wakes you up
It steals beneath your duvet
And fills your coffee cup
With news and views and world opinion
To stimulate your mind
With music by the deaf
Directed by the blind

We'll send you on your way to work
In a happy frame of mind
Seein' all of breakfast telly
Between half past eight and nine

Welcome to Breakfast Television
Live from Smithfield Market
Where we'll show you how to pluck a chicken
While cleaning vomit off the carpet
Meet the Minister of Transport ("Good evening")
And a junkie skinhead priest
Hear them talk about the pros and cons
Of Myra Hindley being released

We'll send you on your way to work
In a happy frame of mind
Seein' all of breakfast telly
Between half past eight and nine

Welcome to Breakfast Television
We bid you welcome to Breakfast Television
There's diets, riots, and DIY
And how to adjust your brakes
It's been put together with money and love
And only ten commercial breaks

We'll send you on your way to work
In a happy frame of mind
Seein' all of breakfast telly
Between half past eight and nine

Welcome to Breakfast Television
Welcome to BTV
We'll interrupt your morning sex
With lots of lovely me
Welcome to Breakfast Television
(We'll send you on your way to work)
Welcome to a world of pap
(In a happy frame of mind)
When you turn on the television
(Seein' all of breakfast telly)
We'll dump it in your lap
(Between half past eight and nine)