"Difficult" lyrics

My double vision
Is only amplifying everything he isn't
Till I feel less attached and bored to death but listen
It's no one's fault, it's just my terrible condition

And I've been thinking if I move out this year
I'll feel my parents slipping
Away and also I'm just scared of that commitment
I really think sometimes there's something that I'm missing

Oh I know spiraling is miserable
I should probably go back home
Why does that feel difficult, difficult?
Oh I hope I wake up invisible
I'd be someone no one knows
I guess I'm just difficult

To name this feeling
Would take a hundred thousand years, some kind of grieving
But over what I never had, so I've been speaking
To my therapist, I call her every weekend

I meant to tell you
How I've hated how we left things when it fell through
'Cause you were everything to me, where did you run to?
Was it something that I said that colored you blue?

Oh I know spiraling is miserable
I should probably go back home
Why does that feel difficult, difficult?
Oh I hope I wake up invisible
I'd be someone no one knows
I guess I'm just difficult, difficult

Difficult
Difficult

I've been drinking
And staying up too late reliving bad decisions
I thought eventually my ranting here would fix it
I really think sometimes there's something that I'm missing

Oh I know spiraling is miserable
I should probably go back home
Why does that feel difficult, difficult?
Oh I hope I wake up invisible
I'd be someone no one knows
I guess I'm just difficult, difficult

Oh I know spiraling is miserable
I should probably go back home
Why does that feel difficult, difficult?
Oh I hope I wake up invisible
I'd be someone no one knows
I guess I'm just difficult, difficult