"Stupid Bells" lyrics

Christmas Day is really neat
I walk downtown in my bare feet
All the stores are locked up tight
And snow is falling bright and white

I wish I'd find something to eat
The air is filled with the smell of meat
Maybe behind the Burger King
I'll find some half chewed onion rings

Christmas Day is really cool
You don't have to go to school
Lay down on the icy ground
Wait for Santa to come around

Christmas is the season
When most folks kill themselves
Christmas is the reason
For all those stupid bells

While the children are away
Listening to the sound of sleighs
I'll light the playground all on fire
Find the school bus; slash its tires

Christmas Day is when I'll go
Down you chimney, say hello
Your dad will give me his cigars
Your mom will give me her new car

Baby's crying in its crib
Maybe cause I stole its bib
I took its toys and took its room
Hope that we'll be eating soon

Repent sinners
This pagan holiday full of tree worship and fairy lights is an affront to Jehovah
The candy cane is Satan's walking stick
Merry Christmas from The Handsome Family