"Heal Me" lyrics

Dear desolation:
I wasn't myself for months and nobody noticed
I wasn't myself for years and nobody cared
But when the past isn't dead, is it even the past?
When the past is still alive, how can it ever be forgotten?!

I always thought I'd heal one day
Seems you never did, they never will
Seems we live in the wrong time
For kids with a pure heart
But in the dark times
Will there still be singing?
Or will we just sing then
About the dark times?

Then I talk to myself at night
Another Lorazepam and Coke fight
My mind is begging for sleep
My heart begging for rest, so deep

Am I dying?
"Just a little..."
Is it blissful?
"It's like a dream..."
I want to dream

You won't find healing
At the feet of those who broke you
We won't find healing
As long as we still miss the people...
...we once used to be...

If I'd had to describe my life
In just eight simple words
Fuck, I'd just say:
All I was afraid of happening, it happened...

So I chose not to choose life
Seems I chose something else
I've been alive way too long
And dead way longer than that
I woke up tired a few years ago
And never really recovered since
Just like a walk towards death
But with grace in heart and flowers in hands
Just like a walk towards death
But with grace in heart and flowers in hands

"Hurry up, you are dreaming!"
Everything not saved will be lost...
"Hurry up, you are retreating!"
Fall into distance, grey upon grey...

I woke up tired a few years ago
And never really recovered since
Just like a walk - towards death
Be the void you wanna see in the world