"Background Sad" lyrics

Come a long way, the hard way
And maybe I made it too hard
Been a long fight, the wrong kind
That breaks you and leaves you unsure
Been fighting to feel like myself
Not sure that's what I want anymore
Feeling like me is probably the problem
I've had all along

I tell everyone I got better
But what if I'm not?
It's hard to face the truth sometimes
It's hard to face the truth
Oh and I tell everyone it gets better
But what if I'm wrong?
It's hard to tell the truth sometimes
Am I always gonna just be, just be

Background sad, background sad
Waiting for the storm clouds to clear in my head
Background sad, background sad
Wondering if this is as good as it gets
Am I always gonna just be, just be getting by
Telling myself it's alright?
Does it matter how hard I try?
Am I always gonna just be, just be background sad

I got pages and pages
Of documentation I keep
Looking for answers
And patterns I've hidden in me
Don't need the world in my hands
Think I'd be happy with halfway content
I should grow up and shut up
I'm probably wanting too much

Oh and I tell everyone it gets better
But what if I'm wrong?
It's hard to tell the truth sometimes
Am I always gonna just be, just be

Background sad, background sad
Waiting for the storm clouds to clear in my head
Background sad, background sad
Wondering if this is as good as it gets
Am I always gonna just be, just be getting by
Telling myself it's alright?
Does it matter how hard I try?
Am I always gonna just be, just be background sad

Will I always be waiting?
And what is it I'm chasing?
These questions could drive someone crazy
I don't want to spend the rest of my life asking myself
Am I always gonna just be, just be

Background sad, background sad
Waiting for the storm clouds to clear in my head
Background sad, background sad
Wondering if this is as good as it gets
Am I always gonna just be, just be getting by
Telling myself it's alright?
Does it matter how hard I try?
Am I always gonna just be, just be background sad