"Joni: LA's No. 1 Health Goth" lyrics

"Hello, the program you are about to watch is a special presentation brought to you by IHTV's public broadcasting network
This program was made possible by the efforts of Illuminati Hotties corporation, and contributions from little shredders like you. Thank you!"

You wish
You were
Like her
Like her

Joni is a punk babe
Joni is the second wave
Joni is a black jean jacket
Joni's in the first band
Joni has a cool hand
Joni knows the problem is systematic

Joni cut the tour line
Joni doesn't have time
Joni likes to dart on stage
Joni's on a juice cleanse
Joni doesn't need friends
Cause Joni's got the whole room trained

You wish
You were
Like her
Like her

I bet she never looks your way
I bet she never looks your way
I bet she never cared
I bet she never cared
I bet she never cared about you

You wish
You were
Like her
Like her

When Joni's on a first date
Joni goes to third base
And when you wake up Joni's long gone
Now Joni's at the desert house where only Joni sings loud
Cause Joni never wrote a bad song

You wish

You were
Like her

I bet she never looks your way
I bet she never looks your way
I bet she never cared
I bet she never cared
I bet she never cared about you

Joni's got a brand new mullet
Fast and cool as a silver bullet
And she's on your couch
And she wants you to pull it!

I bet she never looks your way
I bet she never looks your way
I bet she never cared
I bet she never cared
I bet she never cared about you

You wish
You were
Like her
Like her