"The Way That I Was" lyrics

When I was a boy and the world was so small
I used to walk out and look at the stars
I'd wonder out loud if they could see me
If I'd be someone, or if I'd go far
Now I spend my days angry 'bout somethin'
Drives me to drinkin' and a-cursin' the sun
I couldn't tell you, it's probably 'bout nothin'
I'm just complainin' or blamin' someone

Now that I'm older, it seems like I'm broken
I mostly forget I was born here to love
Makes me so sad to find I've forgotten
What I used to know now that I've grown
I wish I could go back to the way that I was

The doctors, they tell me that it's called depression
But I know it's somethin' I've forgotten to feel
The pain in my heart is a loss of the wonder
And identification with thoughts that aren't real

Now that I'm older, it seems like I'm broken
I mostly forget that I was born here to love
Makes me so sad to find I've forgotten
What I used to know now that I'm grown
I wish I could go back to the way that I was

I think as we age, there's a choice we must make
Remember the joy or close up our hearts
I'd like to hope that I will grow kinder
To myself and my family, that's a good place to start

Now that I'm older and I've gained some awareness
I have some control over my fate
I still can't tell if that's a curse or a blessing
Here I am confessing, still more-or-lessing
Finding the pleasure in bein' awake

Now that I'm older, it seems like I'm broken
I mostly forget that I was born here to love
Makes me so sad to know I've forgotten
What I used to know now that I'm grown
I wish I could go back to the way that I was