"I'll Keep My Hatchet" lyrics

"Over three-hundred fifty tables loaded with pistols, military, hunting, laser-optics, and shooting rifles. Sunday morning, the first fifty paying adults will receive a free stainless lock-blade pocketknife. Don't forget to register for the free custom-built AR-15 being given away by the Bridge Town Gun Shop"

Keep your AR-15, trash knife kept clean
Cross hair laser beam on your Ruger machine
Keep your 9-milli Luger with that hot ass red dot
I'll keep my hatchet, swing-and-go chop
Keep that Colt pipe back or that big Desert Eagle
That weaponry dagger, carve that ass up-reload
9-milli Mac 10, that musket rifle that pop
And I'll keep my hatchet, swing-and-go chop
.40-cal Smith & Wesson, that double burst
12 gauge sawed-off, murder in the first
M60, .44 Magnum, or Glock
I'll keep my hatchet, swing-and-go chop
Wessley Richards, drop like a bolt rifle
Mauser! Model 98 make 'em stifle!
Swiss-army knife, Bowie, machete don't stop!
But I'll keep my hatchet!, swing-and-go-chop

I don't need technology, it's not a pal of me
I don't need artillery to feed the thrill in me
I don't need machinery for the mean in me
I'm kind of a hands-on guy

"Hundreds of shotguns, rifles, handguns, knives of all kinds"

You better, you better, run from the Beretta
They call it "The-Kill-You-Deader", "The Sweater Shredder"
Some blast through vests when you're bustin' at cops
But I'll keep my hatchet, swing-and-go chop!
Brandish super pose pump-action Mossberg
Modern model .336 will toss nerds
Colt 45 into the chamber, it dropped
But I'll take my hatchet, swing-and-goes chop

I don't need technology, it's not a pal of me
(I don't need it to get by!)
I don't need artillery to feed the thrill in me
('Cause I can do it myself!)
I don't need machinery for the mean in me
(It just ain't who I am!)
I'm kind of a hands-on guy

"Hi. I'm Heather. Come see what I've got"
Blow your fuckin' head up into pieces!