"Ashes" lyrics

I'm the best at setting everything on fire
I can't accept when I find something good for me
Call it self defense, protect my sense of loneliness
'Cause only if I'm lonely, no one's close enough to leave

I tried to hide these scars from you
But in time they bled straight through

I really thought we had it
Then I let it turn to ashes
Now I'm a fool, and all I do
Is act like I'm not drowning
When I tell my friends about it
Since I lost you, I'm lost too
I'm lost too

Brown hair and a Care Bear tattoo
Someone, somewhere staring at you
In a way I once did
'Til I went and lost it
Let my demons get the best of me
Too afraid to let you close to me
Memories just kill me softly
'Cause

I really thought we had it
Then I let it turn to ashes
Now I'm a fool, and all I do
Is act like I'm not drowning
When I tell my friends about it
Since I lost you, I'm lost too
I'm lost too

Self inflicted all the pain
Like the arsonist I am
All the love lost in the flames
All the blood is on my hands
How did I get so afraid
To hold on a little longer? Hold on a little longer

I'm the best at setting everything on fire
I can't accept when I find something good for me
Call it self defense, protect my sense of loneliness
'Cause only if I'm lonely, no one's close enough to leave