"Pinocchio In Vegas" lyrics
Pinocchio's in Vegas with his eye on the prize
He's a real boy now, his dick grows when he lies
But his face stays frozen like it's still made of wood
It displays no emotion as he cleans 'em out good
At that back room table, most any Friday night
He don't even need the money, he's just in it out of spite
And he misses old Geppetto, gone now two years
The boy's spendin' real money, and he's cryin' real tears
You'd've thought it'd've been a straight and simple untaxed estate
It was nearly out of probate when it blew up in his face
There were whispers in the shadows, all around the town
Heretofore unknown relations, old Geppetto got around
Who were my grandmother's friends?
Used to play bridge every Tuesday at ten
Who were the neighbors next door?
When I was still crawlin' on the floor
When the claims came to light, Pinocchio was blue
The lawyers had a field day, just like they always do
First, they tried to fleece him for a rainbow's worth of gold
He had to sue Walt Disney over copyright control
He got less than he wanted, more than they'd a-give
Both sides are bitter, both sides'll live
Who were my grandmother's friends?
Used to take me fishin', every now and then
Who were the neighbors next door?
Who all did we lose in the war?
Snappin' peas on that front porch step
Come and take 'em watermelon rinds
Toss 'em over the horse-lot fence
Go wash up and quit that cryin'
Pinocchio is over it, he don't beat up on himself
He's had to learn to be an asshole, just like everybody else
Where the dogs eat the dogs and the cats eat the mice
You pick a hill to die on, don't bother acting nice
'Cause that won't serve you well at the end of the day
They don't have to come and take it if you give it all away
Who were my grandmother's friends?
Used to play bridge every Tuesday at ten
Who were the neighbors next door?
When I was still crawlin' on the floor
Who were my grandmother's friends?
They used to take me fishin', every now and then
Who were the neighbors next door?
I can't call you up and ask you anymore
He's a real boy now, his dick grows when he lies
But his face stays frozen like it's still made of wood
It displays no emotion as he cleans 'em out good
At that back room table, most any Friday night
He don't even need the money, he's just in it out of spite
And he misses old Geppetto, gone now two years
The boy's spendin' real money, and he's cryin' real tears
You'd've thought it'd've been a straight and simple untaxed estate
It was nearly out of probate when it blew up in his face
There were whispers in the shadows, all around the town
Heretofore unknown relations, old Geppetto got around
Who were my grandmother's friends?
Used to play bridge every Tuesday at ten
Who were the neighbors next door?
When I was still crawlin' on the floor
When the claims came to light, Pinocchio was blue
The lawyers had a field day, just like they always do
First, they tried to fleece him for a rainbow's worth of gold
He had to sue Walt Disney over copyright control
He got less than he wanted, more than they'd a-give
Both sides are bitter, both sides'll live
Who were my grandmother's friends?
Used to take me fishin', every now and then
Who were the neighbors next door?
Who all did we lose in the war?
Snappin' peas on that front porch step
Come and take 'em watermelon rinds
Toss 'em over the horse-lot fence
Go wash up and quit that cryin'
Pinocchio is over it, he don't beat up on himself
He's had to learn to be an asshole, just like everybody else
Where the dogs eat the dogs and the cats eat the mice
You pick a hill to die on, don't bother acting nice
'Cause that won't serve you well at the end of the day
They don't have to come and take it if you give it all away
Who were my grandmother's friends?
Used to play bridge every Tuesday at ten
Who were the neighbors next door?
When I was still crawlin' on the floor
Who were my grandmother's friends?
They used to take me fishin', every now and then
Who were the neighbors next door?
I can't call you up and ask you anymore
Thanks to Dave Draper for adding these lyrics.
