"IF I" lyrics

When the quiet gets too loud
And there's nobody around
I'm terrified
Of what I'll find
If I ever come back down

Waking up in a cold sweat
In a warm bed
Stuck in my head, again
What if I never know best
Of what's gonna come next
Anxiety sets in again
I'm over this
I'm overwhelmed
I self inflict another breakdown
That I just want to forget

When the quiet gets too loud
And there's nobody around
I'm terrified
Of what I'll find
If I ever come back down
Just a face lost in the crowd
And ain't nobody cares about
I'm terrified
Of what I'll find
If I let everybody down

(If I let everybody down)

I self destruct, I lose most fights
I waste the day then fear the night
'Cause in the dark, there's no white lies
To hide me
I try to change, say I'm okay
Throw on a smile that fades away
I lost the spark to fan the flame
That defines me

And when I'm old, with no more days
And someone goes to dig my grave
A stranger speaks 'cause no one came
I blame, I blame, I blame it on me
I blame, I blame, I blame it on me