"An Airport Bathroom" lyrics
12 sticks lined up
All labeled with a marker
But deep down I knew
The lines weren't getting darker
But I obsessed
I bought more tests
The faintest line
Is still a yes
I hoped
I had this realistic dream
Where I held you in my arms
And I don't know why, but I convinced myself
That dreams were signs from God
And that you were fine
I see a line
And you'd be mine
In 9 months time
I hoped
The doctor said it's early
He called you chemical and that pissed me off
Everything went blurry
I shut the lights and curled up in a ball
Sure, you were small...
But you had a name
I ordered little shoes
You had a daddy who watched about a million Youtubes on how to swaddle you
We told the family
That you were coming soon
You had a fuzzy blue monkey that used to be mommy's
That was waiting here for you
And just like that I had to say goodbye to you
In an airport bathroom
In an airport bathroom
All I could think about is why did this even happen?
Was there something wrong?
Was it all my fault?
Now someone's asking...
Are you pregnant?
Are you trying?
Don't start crying
Don't start crying
Don't make it weird
Once I started smiling
My husband finally let himself cry
Cause our DNA made DNA
And we were mom and dad for a moment in time
You were more than a line
You had a name
I ordered little shoes
You had a daddy who watched about a million Youtubes on how to swaddle you
We told the family
That you were coming soon
You had a fuzzy blue monkey
That used to be mommy's that was waiting here for you
And just like that I had to say goodbye to you
In an airport bathroom
In a fucking airport bathroom
17 months later
I found myself back in that same bathroom
And I looked in the mirror with a baby in my arms
And I thought of you
And how someday soon
We'll meet again
In a better place
That's when I'll hear
A little voice say
Mama I've been waiting for you
And we were so much bigger than an airport bathroom
All labeled with a marker
But deep down I knew
The lines weren't getting darker
But I obsessed
I bought more tests
The faintest line
Is still a yes
I hoped
I had this realistic dream
Where I held you in my arms
And I don't know why, but I convinced myself
That dreams were signs from God
And that you were fine
I see a line
And you'd be mine
In 9 months time
I hoped
The doctor said it's early
He called you chemical and that pissed me off
Everything went blurry
I shut the lights and curled up in a ball
Sure, you were small...
But you had a name
I ordered little shoes
You had a daddy who watched about a million Youtubes on how to swaddle you
We told the family
That you were coming soon
You had a fuzzy blue monkey that used to be mommy's
That was waiting here for you
And just like that I had to say goodbye to you
In an airport bathroom
In an airport bathroom
All I could think about is why did this even happen?
Was there something wrong?
Was it all my fault?
Now someone's asking...
Are you pregnant?
Are you trying?
Don't start crying
Don't start crying
Don't make it weird
Once I started smiling
My husband finally let himself cry
Cause our DNA made DNA
And we were mom and dad for a moment in time
You were more than a line
You had a name
I ordered little shoes
You had a daddy who watched about a million Youtubes on how to swaddle you
We told the family
That you were coming soon
You had a fuzzy blue monkey
That used to be mommy's that was waiting here for you
And just like that I had to say goodbye to you
In an airport bathroom
In a fucking airport bathroom
17 months later
I found myself back in that same bathroom
And I looked in the mirror with a baby in my arms
And I thought of you
And how someday soon
We'll meet again
In a better place
That's when I'll hear
A little voice say
Mama I've been waiting for you
And we were so much bigger than an airport bathroom
