"The Rudie Of Breathing" lyrics

Sometimes I wanna take the car out on the road
Flip it into park and smash myself into a million little pieces
I'm tired of knowing what about myself is wrong
But never mustering up the resolve to really try and change it

I walk outside and people say, "Hey"
And sometimes I just wanna say
"Hey, go away, go away"
So I guess I better stay inside

I've read that if you just sit in a chair and think
Of focusing your nervous energy on the beauty of breathing
You could live a life of real tranquility
But I just thought of every stupid thing that's been keeping me from sleeping

I close my eyes and it won't go away
I plug my ears but they're ringing out
"Hey, hey, hey"
It keeps, keeps me from believing

That maybe someday the thing will work
Maybe I won't feel like a jerk
And maybe the words I say will stop coming out weighted
Maybe someday I'll wanna breathe
And maybe the people that I meet
Won't lead to a certain future where
I'm betrayed, and
I'm so jaded
I'm so jaded
And that, that's why I'm so fucking sad