"On A Pier, On The Hudson" lyrics

New York City's a reflection of how you feel
If your heart is full, you'll feel the warm pavement under your heels
But if your heart is empty, it's just a pile of concrete and steel
A desert where nothing blooms, a graveyard for dreams

We find a pier on the Hudson, as far out as we can go
My mind still repeats the word "obsolete" from the song you wrote
I know you didn't mean to, but the song made me feel old
For you, the river stands still, your dream's fulfilled, for me, it's just started to flow

If you don't want to go backwards, why can't I go forwards with you?
How can you leave the door open and tell me not to walk through?
Tell me not to walk through

I hate this, I hate this more than anything
I know, I do too
No, you don't, if you hated it, it wouldn't be happening
I know that's true
Tell me you love me, tell me you want me in your life again
I can tell you the first but not the second

You see those lights on the other side, I saw them on TV when I was a child
In the darkness I grew up in, where that TV was my only light
I never dreamt that I'd get here, even less this could be my life
And now it's like a spell, I've become someone else, someone who has to travel light

I don't wanna go backwards, but I can't go forwards with you
Whoever I'm turning into, whatever I have to do
I don't wanna go backwards, but I can't go forwards with you
Those are my last words, that's all I can give you
That's all I can give you

And that's how you leave me standing, you order a cab and go
You let me hug you and I should refuse, but I don't
And behind the New York skyline, the Tsar Bomba explodes
I imagine the heatwave approaching, how it swallows me whole