"Boot Straps" lyrics

One, two, one, two, go

I need some help
Finding the straps of my boots
Well, they evicted my flip-flops
And my Birkenstocks won't do
Well, did a man-made famine and shut the factory down?
I know it's bad in Bangladesh, but I hate this town
I need some help
Finding the straps of my boots

I need some boots with straps
I'm ditching the sandals
I need heavy equipment
I need two with handles
Give a hoot
Show me the straps of my boots

They on the front or the back?
Mine are men's, don't it matter, too?
They raised the rent on my socks
But my callouses are getting grue
Well, inflation blew up everything but my ties
Man, I'd overdraft the bank
But the card's expired
I need some help
Finding the straps of my boots

I need some boots with straps
I'm ditching the sandals
I need heavy equipment
I need two with handles
Give a hoot
Show me the straps of my boots

Did they get blown off in a storm?
A negligent pontoon
Well I heard somebody say
That my Crocs weren't really shoes
Well, it's not that I think that the advice is evil
I've just had a long day
And I hate the Eagles
Now I'm running down the road
Lookin' for the straps of my boots

I need some boots with straps
I'm ditching the sandals
I need heavy equipment
I need two with handles
Give a hoot
Show me the straps of my boots

Well, it's not that I think that the advice is evil
I've just had a long day
And I hate the Eagles
Now I'm running down the road
Lookin' for the straps of my boots

Oh, I need some boots with straps
I'm ditching the sandals
I need heavy equipment
I need two with handles
Give a hoot
And show me the straps of my boots