"The Ballad Of Big Balls" lyrics
When I heard the NRA was writing big ass checks
I went right down to Virginia and I said, "Me next"
They said, "Go ye to the school and spread the good news"
I said, "I need a bulletproof vest and some good running shoes"
They said, "We got those," I said, "Cool, where at?"
They said, "They're next to the spoons, making everyone fat"
Now I was rolling my eyes like a rolling stone
When Uncle Huckabee called me on the telephone
He said, "I'm raising up money for a people in need"
I said, "Of course, Uncle Huck, that strip is starving indeed"
He said, "The Lord's at work here, boy, the job ain't done
Son, you need Jesus and Jesus needs guns"
It makes no sense
One man's terror's another man's defense
When the Holy Golden Toad spat him out of his mouth
The techno-billionaire Goblin was about K-holed out
But he left behind Big Balls, like some vestigial tail
Well, them balls went to town and got beat all to hell
Some days the DOGE-ing is easy, some days the DOGE-ing is hard
When the DOGE-ing don't work, you'd better call in the Guard
The Citrus Caesar and the Thielian Prince
Were throwing it all at the wall just to see what would stick
Even I got distracted, that weather was bad
That was the iciest summer that I've ever had
Some days I forget that Cracker Barrels exist
But there ain't no one forgetting about that list
It makes no sense
One man's crime's another man's intelligence
The Nostradamus of Austin cried out to the Lord
He said them frogs might be gay, but I'll still be your sword
While television anchors talked at the air
Does a lie make a noise if there ain't nobody there?
"This ain't no country for cable", said the wisest of men
Honey, crank up the Tucker while I pack me a Zyn
It was getting kinda late, so I went back to the morgue
They were doing the autopsy of July 4th
I said, "Hold the scalpel boys, she ain't dead yet"
I got a parlay in China, we can still win the bet
The technician was drunk on muskadine wine
He said, "I'm going to Mars," I said, "Good riddance, goodbye"
It makes no sense
You can leave if you want but all your problems go with
Yes, they do
I went right down to Virginia and I said, "Me next"
They said, "Go ye to the school and spread the good news"
I said, "I need a bulletproof vest and some good running shoes"
They said, "We got those," I said, "Cool, where at?"
They said, "They're next to the spoons, making everyone fat"
Now I was rolling my eyes like a rolling stone
When Uncle Huckabee called me on the telephone
He said, "I'm raising up money for a people in need"
I said, "Of course, Uncle Huck, that strip is starving indeed"
He said, "The Lord's at work here, boy, the job ain't done
Son, you need Jesus and Jesus needs guns"
It makes no sense
One man's terror's another man's defense
When the Holy Golden Toad spat him out of his mouth
The techno-billionaire Goblin was about K-holed out
But he left behind Big Balls, like some vestigial tail
Well, them balls went to town and got beat all to hell
Some days the DOGE-ing is easy, some days the DOGE-ing is hard
When the DOGE-ing don't work, you'd better call in the Guard
The Citrus Caesar and the Thielian Prince
Were throwing it all at the wall just to see what would stick
Even I got distracted, that weather was bad
That was the iciest summer that I've ever had
Some days I forget that Cracker Barrels exist
But there ain't no one forgetting about that list
It makes no sense
One man's crime's another man's intelligence
The Nostradamus of Austin cried out to the Lord
He said them frogs might be gay, but I'll still be your sword
While television anchors talked at the air
Does a lie make a noise if there ain't nobody there?
"This ain't no country for cable", said the wisest of men
Honey, crank up the Tucker while I pack me a Zyn
It was getting kinda late, so I went back to the morgue
They were doing the autopsy of July 4th
I said, "Hold the scalpel boys, she ain't dead yet"
I got a parlay in China, we can still win the bet
The technician was drunk on muskadine wine
He said, "I'm going to Mars," I said, "Good riddance, goodbye"
It makes no sense
You can leave if you want but all your problems go with
Yes, they do
