"The Contest" lyrics

[BEADLE:]
Ready?

[PIRELLI:]
Ready!

[TODD:]
Ready

[BEADLE:]
The fastest, smoothest shave is the winner

[PIRELLI:]
Now, signorini, signori
We mix-a the lather
But first-a you gather
Around, signorini, signori
You looking a man
Who have had-a da glory
To shave-a da Pope!
Mr. Sweeney whoever-
I beg-a your pardon—'ll
Probably say it was only a cardinal—
Nope!
It was-a da Pope!

To shave-a the face
To cut-a da hair
Require the grace
Require the flair
For if-a you slip
You nick da skin
You clip-a da chin
You rip-a da lip a bit
Beyond repair!

To shave-a da face
Or even a part
Widout it-a smart
Require da heart
Not just-a da flash
It take-a panache
It take-a da passion for the art

To shave-a da face
To trim-a da beard
To make-a da bristle
Clean like a whistle
Dis is from early infancy
Da talent give to me
By God!

It take-a da skill
It take-a da brains
It take-a da will
To take-a da pains
It take-a da pace
It take-a the grace—

[BEADLE:]
The winner is Todd!