"Chronically Cautious" lyrics

I gamble big for the smallest part, I know it's not
Enough to change what's been going on, but it's all I got
Misjudge and switch up from target to target
Miscalculate what it is that I wanted

Spread my wings
Brother's blood
Dead by things made up

If I'm honest
I think I'm beginning to question how much I want this
Overloaded serial stresser, I'm sitting nauseous
Panic on a loop in my head, I'm chronically cautious

To keep it simple
I think I've been willingly following every impulse
Picturing a future, then tossing it out the window
Suffocate the fire I started right when it kindles

The source of my serotonin is only digital
My reality's fading, I guess it's typical
Switch back, it's mismatched in dopamine
Whiplash, hits fast, controlling me

I sit in silence
Dead by thousand cuts

So, if I'm honest
I think I'm beginning to question how much I want this
Overloaded serial stresser, I'm sitting nauseous
Panic on a loop in my head, I'm chronically cautious

To keep it simple
I think I've been willingly following every impulse
Picturing a future, then tossing it out the window
Suffocate the fire I started right when it kindles

If I'm honest
Oh, if I'm honest