"Lithuania" lyrics

Hey, do y'all wanna hear how I got kicked off United Airlines?

I caught a flight on a Friday night
Got drunk at BNA
Met my sister Autumn at the airport in Charlotte
She loved to fly on planes
She booked our flights on that Hopper site
And we had a few delays
It took six planes and two full days
To reach that lovely, unknown place
Lithuania

My big brother went to school in London
Met a girl and they fell in love and
They asked me if I would come play
At their wedding on this fine September day in
Lithuania, Lithuania
That's why I got on that plania
And now I'll never fly again
Lithuania

Now I'll admit when I leave land
I need a drink in both my hands
So by the time my passport book was stamped
I don't think you'd call me the best man

But I showed up at that wedding and I played a few songs
Went out into the night and walked the streets alone
And I met a girl and thought I'll make this place my home
Lithuania

Now on the way back, on a red eye to Dallas
I will admit I was feeling pretty ragged
And Autumn brought the flowers the bride throws
So the next girl can get married, I suppose

And the agriculture department flagged that onto the way into the US
So we had to wait in this long, long line
And I got put into a later flight
And I went to the bar and ordered my favorite drink at the time
Courvoisier and coke (I know)
I had a few and I fell asleep
Woke up to a flight attendant shaking me
And I said, "Hey man won't you just let me be, won't you"
No, he called the police

And they took me off the plane
And it took four FBI men to keep me contained
And they said I'd never fly United Airlines again
Oh, Lithuania, Lithuania
That's why I got on that plania
And now I'll never fly again
Lithuania
Lithuania