"Illumination" lyrics

Used to be cool
I used to be very cool
Save for the acid wash
No regrets
Not a one

Then everything changed
My face has been rearranged
I don't look like anyone
At least not like that
Anymore

All of the things I thought that might have been
Have washed away like winter in the wind on skin
It disappears
It keeps me up at night
I can't really concentrate
So maybe I'll lie awake

"Where will you go?
When will you let us know?"
Her patience is permanent
But the wait
Can grow dark

A terror of leaves
A whirlwind of pleasantries
In search of those question marks
I will write
What I find

Nothing but vagaries and camouflage
Leaky boats and pictures of the way we were
When we were young
And bad at being good
With you I would go anywhere
A fraction of the fictions we were sold were true
It's me and you from here on out tonight
We'll dine in on goldenrod
And work out this paradox

'Cause here in the multiverse
You can be anything you want
If patterns can be reversed
Why would you wait when you can find?

A new way to run around
Energy fields of sound
Colors exploding bright
These feelings I used to have to fight

There is no easy way
To say what I need to say
Rather than stuff it down
I choose to tear the whole thing out