"Lil Jimmy Skit" lyrics

[Man:]
Hey Jimmy where you going?

[Jimmy:]
I don't know where I'm going.
My Dad died, and, uh, he left me his degrees.
My mom would always say "Dad, why don't you work?",
But he just kept learning.
All the other kids' parents were working and saving up money for school,
And I was actually in school all while my dad was in school.
He was so greedy with degrees, he took my degree.
And now I'm just glad he left me these.
Because all the regular homeless people have newspaper, and look what I have.
These are documented.
My father left them to me.
And I'm going to leave them to my kids.
I'm going to learn too.
I'm going to get super smart, so I too can die without money.
But I'll be the smartest dead guy.
Who has that?