"APEROL SPRITZ" lyrics

I got a notification
That you and him were on vacation
In some far away nation
It looks Croatian
Had an Aperol Spritz
With a little lemon in it
And I know it's not my business
But he sure seems like a bitch
So is he really rich?
Does he have a big dick?
Out to dinner with his parents
Got a pied-à-terre in Paris
Something feels fishy
Man I thought you'd miss me
But now I wanna vomit when I think about you kissing

How could you do this to me
Who would've thought

Every day that goes by
I miss you more and more each night
I should've never said goodbye
So if you call one more time
I won't let you off the line
But if you're happier that's fine

Not to start a rumor
But I heard that he's a loser
When he took the SATs
I heard he had like 40 tutors
Heard he cheated on his ex
Heard he's really bad at sex
Got a six pack on his chest
But I could beat his ass in chess
I know I should go to bed
Stop looking at this photograph
But you look really pretty
And he looks like he's in Nickelback
Look at his haircut
It's funnier than stand up
But he's got no sense of humor
You can't learn that from a tutor

How could you do this to me
Who would've thought

Every day that goes by
I miss you more and more each night
I should've never said goodbye
So if you call one more time
I won't let you off the line
But if you're happier that's fine

But if you're happier that's
Fine
I won't
Forget about you
I hope you won't forget about me too
I'll keep
Waiting

Every day that goes by
I miss you more and more each night
I should've never said goodbye
So if you call one more time
I won't let you off the line
But if you're happier that's fine