"Judas (Martyr To My Misery)" lyrics

Starting to watch my parents get old
It's one thing to worry, it's another to know
I'm bearing witness to what awaits
Time's lack of sympathy and my own fading

My body is a temple in decay
The upkeep, getting harder as I age
My youth is the dam that's bound to break
I'm Judas, ultimately, I'll betray
Myself with the boys and the drugs
Dig down deeper in the same hole that I've dug
Thought I'd be smarter by 23
And not still a martyr to my own misery

And now I'm always kinda thinking about how I'm gonna die
Or who my mom was before a mother and a wife
And how nobody ever really gets enough time
Before the bronze of youth starts to oxidize

My body is a temple in decay
The upkeep, getting harder as I age
My youth is the dam that's bound to break
I'm Judas, so ultimately, I'll betray
Myself with the boys and the drugs
Dig down deeper in the same hole that I've dug
Thought I'd be smarter by 23
And not still a martyr to my own misery

Sure, I've been trying hard to change myself just bit by bit
And to know part of me now is part of who I've been
I'm cutting off the dead weight, all of my dead ends
Everything must go and I mean everything
And if I'm swearing myself into total honesty
I'm still kinda scared of the real possibility
That the one thing that has always been wrong is me
And I can try to fix it, but it goes too deep

Martyr to my
I'm a martyr to my misery
Martyr to my