"Down By The River" lyrics

I done been through this
It's hard for you to listen to me 'cause you ain't been through shit
Shut off my mind and follow my heart, so I took plenty risks
How the fuck you hating on me, like God ain't give me this?

It was designed for me to fail when I started
Long as I'm breathing, gotta exhale, so I'ma win regardless
They get depressed 'cause of my success, but I'm the one went the hardest
Knew the coach seat would turn to a jet soon as that bitch departed
All the dumb shit I did was just a test, 'cause I'm the smartest

Now I look back on my life like
I wasn't shit but a kid walk in the pitch black with no nightlight
All the sneaky shit led later to all the secrets I had
Running from death, all the reapers I slid
Ducking discreet, I ain't seeing a bid

And now I hate to be in my head
Lonely, afraid to sleep in my bed
Stuck in my thoughts, sinking
Had to play dumb when I was young, ain't wanna get caught thinking
Facing the ground, can't look at the sun, ain't wanna get caught blinking
Watched my circle get knocked off, and now we all shrinking

Now I'm always drinking
Streets made our heart cold, now we all anemics
Blood on that money, it ain't green to me
I can barely tell you what you mean to me
Nick can't never betray me, I don't even need a team

Life a movie, but you can't play me, I don't even need a scene
I can't get no help, 'cause I don't need a thing
Champion with no belt, never received a ring

Gave out too much love, no more love, I ain't feeling loved
Gotta go cleanse my body, so many drugs, I can't feel the drugs
Drop tears when I get a hug, got too used to niggas getting slugs
Start putting my dogs in the wall, got too used to niggas getting dug

Six feet, everybody I know six feet
All the people I knew
That's why hammers getting drew
You'll get killed too, try and bitch me
You get put on a plate thinking shit sweet
You get killed broad day trying to get to me
I get up every day trying to get rich as me
I got more Cuban links than Mr. T

I be stressing though, you be stressing though
Then my stress just add on to your stress until we stressing more
I was stressing less when I was broke, but it's a blessing though
It's so hard for me to shake my past, I learned my lessons though

Where I'm trying to go, sometimes I don't even know
Mentally, I'm broken, sometimes I don't even show it
I be planting seeds, sometimes I don't see them growing
I was supposed to leave, gave up and I never spoke it

Caught a fed case, then lost my nigga, got me back toting
I'm like fuck niggas, but heart so big, it got me wide open
Scared to leave my energy with my kids, got me outside rolling
Comparing the shit I'm doing with what I did, it got me back smoking

What's my destiny? I know it
Will I fulfill it? Shit, I'm hoping
It's my passion and I know it
Tell you I'm thuggin', but I'm coping
All this money don't mean nothing
Pass out hundreds like they tokens

And my future, I can't control it
But I be damned if I blow it