"4Chan Stan" lyrics

I went through your bedside drawer
You know I've never been inclined to have to do that before
Never been Bergdorf's
But you took someone shopping there in May '24

You bought her a handbag
It wasn't cheap
I was in London
Probably asleep
Did you go to Montauk
For the weekend?
And was there an encore?
Did it pay dividends?
Is that why?

Why won't you tell me what her name is?
This is outrageous
What, is she famous?
Say that it's over, do you mean a hiatus?
Why won't you tell me?
What a sad, sad man
It's giving 4chan stan
What a sad, sad man
It's giving 4chan stan

What, is she famous?
Somebody famous?

What are you so scared of?
Do you think I'm gonna contact her and tell her. What for?
Gonna get divorced
It's a marriage of convenience and it's her you adore

I think you're sinking
You're protecting a lie
We don't want her thinking
That you cheat on your wife
You're such a coward
You can't tell the truth
You love all the power
But you're not even cute
No, no, no, no

Why won't you tell me what her name is?
This is outrageous
What, is she famous?
Say that it's over, do you mean a hiatus?
Why won't you tell me?
What a sad, sad man
It's giving 4chan stan
What a sad, sad man
It's giving 4chan stan

What, is she famous?
Somebody famous
Somebody famous
Somebody famous