"Carnival" lyrics

I wish I was a couple years older
Couple years wiser
Just so I could know your heart
But I know that it would still confuse me anyway
I felt just a few degrees colder
Ever since the day that you left
Spare my soul
Now I can still feel the pieces of my youth just stripped away
What is life but a merry go round
Just circling doubts living up in my head
I know that they want me dead
Keep me up when I try to stay down
I try to forget all the things that they said
But they won't let me go

I try to fall asleep
But they won't let me dream
I just hope some day we'll come to terms
Cause I'm falling underneath
And I try so hard to breathe
As this rollercoaster kills me

So this goes out to the mind games in my head
You raise hell every night inside of my bed
I don't know where you came from
But I won't play your carnival no more

I wish I was just a little stronger
So they wouldn't beat me up
But they did
I can still feel the mulch that they kicked at me pierce my hope
So I dusted off my shoulders and then
Told myself that I could prove it to them
Just trying to justify the first taste of feeling low

I try to fall asleep
But they won't let me dream
I just hope some day we'll come to terms
I'm falling underneath
And I try so hard to breathe
As this rollercoaster kills me

So this goes out to the mind games in my head
You raise hell every night inside of my bed
I don't know where you came from
But I won't play your carnival no more